Monday, November 28, 2011

Most Wanted (Dream), November 28th, 2011

I didn't know I was going to get into this paranoia.  But surprises tend to spring up on you once in a while, you know?  In the words of the great Kurt Vonnegut, so it goes...

I got adopted by nice American family - a cute girl with a loving father.  Had a bedroom of my own and a lovely loyal pet dog.  Things seemed as normal as can be - great family dinners, slight flirtations, good jokes and vast family home to explore with all sorts of hidden surprises.  Then I got a phone call from my already paranoid brother that flipped that whole thing upside down.

I will take a moment to explain the backstory, so that you, my wonderful reader, are not totally lost [snap to reality].  You see, I got political asylum in the U.S. in 1996, since I feared political and ethnic persecution upon returning to my home country of Belarus.  Since then I had repeated mysterious tragedies in my family.  My father was found in a puddle of blood in his apartment, dead.  Exactly a year later my mom found her brother in his room with his head bashed into a radiator.  Also dead.  Both cases were ruled "alcohol poisoning".  So it goes.  A never before seen son of my newly dead uncle have laid claims to our entire property and quickly burned it down.  So it goes.  My brother (who at the time lived in Poland) and I have conspired to buy my mom an apartment in Poland and move her there.  But right before, the stress of the entire thing has gotten to her and she was forcibly taken into a mental asylum by the Belarusian authorities.  She was later released and we successfully moved her to Poland, but the illness remained.  She imagined Belarusian special police units hiding everywhere, attempting assassination or just mental/physical torture through unknown to general public devices.  She is currently getting treatment, but her paranoia has started to seep into my brother, who recently called me to tell me about strange people following him or taking pictures of him.  But now [snap back to dream], his call was of a much different nature.  "Go to," he tells me, "you are listed in the top 5 most wanted people by the Belarusian authorities."

This snapped me out of my dream-like life with my new adopted family.  Could this really be true?  With a heavy heart I checked the site and found my name.  "I am going to be assassinated next, without a doubt" I thought.  If the Soviets could get Trotsky in South America, the new KGB of Belarus could get me in America.  And sure enough, it all began.

Shadowy figures seeped out of street corners.  Glances, whispers, all headed in my direction.  More intentional movements indicated who my assassin was - a fit man in his 30s, overcoat, top hat, now headed towards me.  I disappeared into the house of my hosts, alarmingly warning them of what's about to happen through a phone call.  They weren't home, and even if they were, stalling the man might have been impossible.  In my room, alone with my dog, I decided to barricade myself in the basement.  Through a door, down the stairs, down another flight of stairs, through another door, through yet another door and... what?  A hidden courtyard revealed itself to me, filled with ferns, sunshine and bird noises.  Yet another door appeared.  As I walked through it, it's as if I entered a pre-Jurassic Narnia with my loyal dog.  An ancient forest engulfed me, tropical, warm, with massive trees and unknown to me creatures.  Hidden dangers lurked everywhere, yet the beauty of this new world overwhelmed me.  "This is better that what awaits me on the other side", I thought.  And sure that my hosts would know where I ended up and find a way to send me a message in due time, I departed on my new adventure.  Yet another place to seek refuge, wild, dangerous and utterly beautiful mother Earth embracing me.  I smiled and walked forth, to my new future.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Nature Telepathy (Dream), September 7, 2011

I wake up on a wet slab of granite from something scurrying over me. Yet another mouse is acting crazy. It seems that more and more the animals in this dungeon are losing their fear of humans. They've been running over me and nibbling my skin for a few days by now. And here's another one! And another! This is starting to hurt. One bite I can deal with, but what we have here is nearly a dozen mice, all trying to sink their teeth into me.
I scream out and flail, shaking the creatures off.

"What now?" - mutters a tall gray figure in the corner. My guard usually has very little to say, so I jump on this opportunity. "The mice are acting really weird," I explain, "It's almost as if they set out to, ow!, set out to drive us out of here or something... This is not normal." The guard would normally care less for my comforts, but by now the mice are starting to get to him as well, so he returns my worried look of concern back to me.

They seem to be swarming out of nowhere, and it's no longer just mice. Cockroaches, centipedes, spiders, small birds, even something that looked like a small fox - all descend on us from the shadows, to scratch, bite, run over, trample.

I think hard as I shake and shudder my way around the room. What could this mean? Where are these animals coming from? Why have they lost their fear? What is bothering them? And then I saw it... the way they were looking at me... it was Life itself driving us out, a consciousness larger than the sum of its parts, a little window to which I could see in each of their eyes. It was no longer detached and separate, I could feel this message as direct as the sun would look to your unobstructed stare, "You both must leave here now!"

My captor seemed to get the message loud and clear, without saying another word, he vanished behind the door, locking it behind. I had no way to exit.

I surrendered myself to the message that was being drilled into me by the animal wave, willing me to leave or be destroyed. "I was here first," it said, "you are not welcomed here. You are a virus. Dissolve." I understood the Spirit's thoughts and replied, somehow retaining my tranquility and surrender while being erased from this world, "I wish to leave, I am a captor here, I mean you no harm, I mean you no harm..."

Everyone stopped and looked into my eyes all at once, inquisitively. A second passed, the connection grew stronger until, nearly trembling with fullness, I could feel the Spirit-Voice inside my brain, searching, probing, filling. It was as if every thought I had was a cavity, now filled with series of pure tones, resonating and transmitting the imprints of my thought shapes back to the source.
Then, within moments, one by one, all animals scurried away, dissolving into shadows of the dungeon, exposing my bloodied up body. All but one.

In front of me was a coyote-sized dog, still peering into my eyes. "I am here," he thought and I understood him immediately.
"We must leave," the dog re-iterated as we both bubbled up and momentarily warped into nothing.

...I woke up from warm rain washing over me. Vast fields were as far as the eye could see. Thunderclouds and sky. Wet grass, feeling oddly soothing to my damaged skin. The healing has begun. I was free... Truly free.

The dog was still near me, peering inside my thoughts in a gently mischievous kind of way. "When you rest up, we will have some good adventures together," he thought to me, as I shed a tear of relief, lying underneath the vast warm cleansing sky. I was free.